Role Call
by WonderPickle
Summary: Happy and Toby borrow old uniforms from both Paige and Cabe. Quintis one-shot. NOT SMUT BUT CONTAINS INNUENDOS AND SUGGESTIVE IDEAS.


**Cabe's jacket is an idea borrowed from Toby, but Paige's uniform is an idea from a wonderful fic by dS-Tiff titled "Beat the Bully" (it's a Toby/Paige friendship one-shot and it's so great, please go check it out if you haven't). thanks for letting me borrow the idea! :)**

 **also-very random, but I recently saw the musical "Wicked" and I am quickly becoming obsessed (and losing my sanity). if anyone reading this is also a fan, I would LOVE to chat!**

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Dressed in Paige's old waitress uniform, Happy cleared her throat and knocked on the bedroom door. It creaked under her knuckles. Toby answered immediately, positioning himself so that the first thing she saw was Cabe's old FBI jacket.

Moonlight streamed through the window when it became exposed. But Toby's stance blocked the light from visibly reflecting off either of them.

"Wow," his voice echoed smoothly, gliding over her, "you're beautiful," he said. "You got a name?" He was using his James Bond voice. His really, really, awful James Bond voice that Happy somehow found sexy.

She inspected his jacket up and down. "A cop, huh?"

"Dodging the question?"

"Answer's not important," Happy replied, managing to suppress the snark. She blinked up at him through her lashes and raised a grin that could make anyone with a heart weak. "What about you?"

"It's Ben." He smirked. "Ben Dover."

The facade fell within seconds. Happy's seductive expression melted. Considering how hot it already was, that said a lot. "Damn it, doc," she chastised, frowning. "I thought we agreed on name nixing. Especially something as stupid as that."

Toby's accent slipped away syllable by syllable. "That's the least dirty out of all the idea pots I had brewing."

"You're ruining the mood."

His posture loosened, shoulders dropping. "Okay, okay. Sorry." He made an excessive show of clearing his throat, coughing, and pounding his fist against his chest. And then he shook his body with unnecessary jazz hands, vibrating his lips by pushing out several breaths like he was preparing for a performance in front of a big audience. Happy glared until he regained the accent and propped his elbow up in front of her. He managed to produce the same glint in his eye. "It's better if you don't know."

Happy raised her smirk. Her gaze steadied as her tone did. "Cryptic."

"I prefer mysterious."

With a noise resembling some sort of sexy scoff, she leaned her head around his body to glimpse at the bedroom. She pulled back after a few seconds, slowly raising her eyes back to him. "That bed of yours looks pretty big. Got room for one more?"

Toby face titled towards hers. His breath passed over her nose. "Sorry," he rasped. "It's not as big as it looks." She raised a pointed eyebrow, and the composure quickly slipped again as he dropped the voice and added frantically, "No, wait, that's not what I meant. It is big. It-it's bigger than it looks. Everything here is big."

Happy recovered, regaining composure while he answered. "I can't just go by your word." She slid her hand up the doorway. "What about some proof? Lemme check it out for myself?"

"Forget what I said earlier and come on in," he replied too quickly.

When Toby stepped back to give her space, Happy muttered, "Was trying to forget it, anyway."

She did her best to walk in the oversized uniform while also struggling to manage a skirt. After only a few paces, she tripped over a pair of shoes on the floor, falling to her knees. She caught herself on her palms, although she still received a bright red brush burn on each leg. Her body made an arch while she groaned. "Damn it, Toby," her head shifted forward, "Did you really leave your-oh." Leaning back revealed that the shoes were way too small to be Toby's. "Okay-scratch that. These are mine. My bad." He didn't answer. "Toby?"

Pulling herself up, Happy simultaneously turned around. His gaze was focused intensely on her lower body. She raised an eyebrow as he muttered something like, "Ughffh."

"Uh, in English?" she said.

Without moving his eyes, Toby shook his head and swallowed. His voice was dry. "You...uh...you aren't wearing underwear, Hap."

"Yeah, and?" She put her hands on her hips, like it was a mere fact he should've already known. But the expression on his face proved that demeanor wrong, which made her say, "I thought it would help move the process along. Y'know. Put your car in my garage a little faster before you run out of gas."

"No, thank you, baby. ...I mean," he swallowed again, "I _love_ undressing you. But that was a good idea."

She narrowed her eyes and skipped over his comment. "Why do you look like you just ran a marathon?" She nodded at the sweat developing on his forehead.

He finally aligned their gazes, though slowly. "Because, darlin', in a surprising turn of events, this comando thing really got my gooty goin'."

Happy furrowed her brows. " _Surprising_? Almost _everything_ revs up your engine, Toby."

Toby scrunched his forehead, then raised the wrinkles in agreement. He widened his eyes and said, "You're not all that attached to the waitress getup, are you?"

"Oh. Way ahead of you." She was already unbuttoning her shirt. "Wearing Paige and Cabe's old threads is kinda messed up, anyway. No matter how foxy that jacket makes you look."

"We do tend to get a little carried away. I guess we can call this the point not to cross again?"

"Done." She pulled the shirt off in what must've been record time. "Now c'mere so I can take your damn jeans off."


End file.
